tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23721169990781518232024-03-05T00:13:48.987-08:00a letter to learn, a word to say, a story to tell, a life to look into, it's all about a boy....blog,blog,blog....juz love to write,love to pose, love to enjoy, come n join me....enjoy!!!!Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-57090044889313122382009-06-16T10:36:00.000-07:002009-06-16T10:38:37.564-07:00<p align="center"><img src="http://www.fleurdelis.com/graphics/desiderata.gif" alt="Desiderata" border="0" width="231" height="61" /></p> <p align="center"><i>-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --<br />Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below</i></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, <br />and remember what peace there may be in silence. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">As far as possible, without surrender, <br />be on good terms with all persons.<br />Speak your truth quietly and clearly;<br />and listen to others,<br />even to the dull and the ignorant; <br />they too have their story.<br />Avoid loud and aggressive persons;<br />they are vexatious to the spirit. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">If you compare yourself with others, <br />you may become vain or bitter,<br />for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.<br />Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.<br />Keep interested in your own career, however humble;<br />it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">Exercise caution in your business affairs,<br />for the world is full of trickery.<br />But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;<br />many persons strive for high ideals,<br />and everywhere life is full of heroism.<br />Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.<br />Neither be cynical about love,<br />for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,<br />it is as perennial as the grass. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">Take kindly the counsel of the years, <br />gracefully surrendering the things of youth.<br />Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.<br />But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.<br />Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">Beyond a wholesome discipline,<br />be gentle with yourself.<br />You are a child of the universe<br />no less than the trees and the stars;<br />you have a right to be here.<br />And whether or not it is clear to you,<br />no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. </span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">Therefore be at peace with God, <br />whatever you conceive Him to be.<br />And whatever your labors and aspirations,<br />in the noisy confusion of life,<br />keep peace in your soul. <br /></span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:+1;">With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,<br />it is still a beautiful world.<br />Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.</span></p> <p align="center"><br /></p><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-84708718596302799222009-04-02T10:07:00.000-07:002009-04-02T16:59:29.512-07:00GONE<span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Gone</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> It was a breezy morning and the wind seems to caress my skin very softly. The sun is rising in the East and spreading its golden ray all over the world and not even once inch is excluded form its generous and lively glitter. The ants that never stop from working is lining up on the dead tree cheerfully say hello to the bright and shiny day. The damp and rough bark is a very good track for them to walk on. But me, I’m walking this path all alone with no destination and no intention to find one. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> The jogging track is quiet. It is a good morning to do a lot of activities but the chilled weather has covered the human with thousands of pleasure in their sleep and they are all now sailing to the island of dreams. Dreams that no one knows will ever be true or not. As for me, dream is the last thing I need. Dream has brought me here on this splendid morning that everyone has always wished for. I follow my steps wherever it takes me. My feet is my master when this numbness is covering me and I will only get myself back on when I am too far drowned in my never ending loneliness and fantasy with no edge. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> Sometimes, I wonder why am I doing this to myself. I should have something better to do other than reminiscing for something I have lost and will never ever get back. I cannot lead my own way, I cannot bring the light to my life, and I cannot see the way I did before. I do not have hope. Sigh. The cool breeze comes again and it soothes my tensed skin form the hot burning sunshine. My thought is nowhere around me. It’s everywhere. The calm surface of the lake seems to reflect my expression, empty and lost, but deep inside there are just so many things that is moving rapidly, non-stop like the particles bombing in the heart of the water. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> The day is getting hotter. The burning sun is more than a fire ball that will burn everything in its way. The damp weather just now has become very dry. The chirping birds on the tree have left its nest to find what’s left the earth has to offer. Mother Nature has never disappointed any of us. We always disappoint her. She gives her everything form the ground to the sky, they are all belong to us and it is up to us to use it our way. We always want to be pretentious and indulgent and end up wasting what we have owned. I have lost what I have and this is not my first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last for me to let people down. I let my precious belongings slipped through my fingers even I know that I’m losing it. I did not do anything to stop it. Classic me. In fact, it is a classic attitude of human beings to let things they own slip away swiftly like the wind. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> I used to have my own life. A very good and wonderful life that anyone in the world will trade anything for it. Life that filled with love, laugh, care, joy and happiness. Life was beautiful and I’m willing to give up everything to get it back in return but time envies me and it’s all now gone. Gone and dead. I have no more life to live as she left. One second, she was here right in front of my eyes, laughing joyfully, holding my hands firmly and speaks the language of love. Her voice is serenade that generates energy in my muscle and sinew and keeps me going all the time. Her smile is my drug that keeps my heart beating and keeps me addicting to her. Her touch is like smooth and soft like silk that appeases me at sleep. Her kiss is soft and tender that no man will stop craving for it once he gets it. Now, she is gone. “I miss her”. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> She is no angel. She is magnificent and demure and she’s a girl of mine. I do not own her, she is lent to me and now that she’s gone and never come back. At one point, I wonder why did she come into my life if she wanted to leave me all alone, abruptly. The long walk has given me the answer and the numbness has made me even more sensitive than I ever was before. </span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> I’m still walking this path, collecting the memories that we have carved together. Memories that will bring her to me no matter where I go or what I do. Every steps that I make, brings me closer to her. I know the journey will not be easy for me to go through alone but somewhere along the way, she’ll be waiting for me with arms wide open, welcoming me to her world. It will be a long and lonely road, I know. But to get to her, I will give everything that I have and I know the juice is worth squeezing for. And when I get to her, all the burden on my shoulder will turn into colourful butterflies that will colour our world with thousands of happiness that will eternally be ours.</span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> Quietly, the sun sets and leaves the world to the night that full with mystery. Loneliness will again fill the night and the darkness will kill the joy and happiness and only suffer and despair left. I will survive the night just to see another day with sunlight and the rewards it has to offer for the journey to see my loved one. </span>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-87608968832259299322009-03-30T22:44:00.000-07:002009-04-13T01:03:28.849-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnCSJC0o49I7x3igDm7-lHI9sFsULD2_E6Hxes8Del0bUWrT2DbvzufgeVVw4v2bAC0apHYaSaJIRd4uGINEeJYZ1yTbj9G_tJ6SKcQ3EjhPOBKW9uU6fAWVsMJQwJSzcD2K_9ihzpodBS/s1600-h/050420091824.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnCSJC0o49I7x3igDm7-lHI9sFsULD2_E6Hxes8Del0bUWrT2DbvzufgeVVw4v2bAC0apHYaSaJIRd4uGINEeJYZ1yTbj9G_tJ6SKcQ3EjhPOBKW9uU6fAWVsMJQwJSzcD2K_9ihzpodBS/s320/050420091824.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322120564748416290" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">THINKING OF YOU</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Comparisons are easily done</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Once you've had a taste of perfection</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Like an apple hanging from a tree</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />I picked the ripest one,<br />I still got the seed</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">You said move on, where do I go?</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />I guess second best is all I will know</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><br />'Cause when I'm with him<br />I am thinking of you</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">(Thinking of you, thinking of you)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Thinking of you, what you would do</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />If you were the one who was spending the night</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />(Spending the night, spending the night)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><br />You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Like a hard candy with a surprise center</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />How do I get better once I've had the best?</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><br />He kissed my lips,<br />I taste your mouth, oh!</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">(Taste your mouth)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />He pulled me in,<br />I was disgusted with myself</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><br />'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />(Thinking of you, thinking of you)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Thinking of you, what you would do</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />If you were the one who was spending the night</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">(Spending the night, spending the night)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Oh, I wish that I was looking into</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">You're the best, and yes, I do regret</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />How I could let myself let you go</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Now, now the lesson's learned</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />I touched it, I was burned</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Oh, I think you should know!</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><br />'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />(Thinking of you, thinking of you)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Thinking of you, what you would do</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">If you were the one who was spending the night</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />(Spending the night, spending the night)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Oh, won't you walk through?</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />And bust in the door and take me away?</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />Oh, no more mistakes</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br />'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay</span><br /></div><br /><br />so, what is it this time? thinking of someone??yes....the song lyric id pretty much similar to my situation except i dont regret about anything. i juz think of someone that i dont deserve and that someone is not available and that someone is making me falling for that someone self. is it that bad to fall for someone u dont deserve or someone unavailable. someone attached is what i mean. sigh...... i dont know why r those attached people keep on coming to me and make me fall for them and in the end i'll be the one who will suffer the pain and get hurt and stuck up in my small room thinking of that someone and blaming myself for not be able to restrain myself from falling for that unavailable someone. it sounds stupid, no actually i am stupid for allowing myself to get emotionally involved with that someone that has made it clear that we're only for bonk. yeah bonk, that's all. i think i must have my own rules for dating and bonk. i'm a very sexual person and i hardly get emotionally involved with my sex partner. but sometimes i do let things out of control and resulting frustration and guilty pleasure which is making me feel even worse about my pathetic single life that is clearly not going well so far. i think i should stop thinking bout others and now focus more on me. yeah me.<br /><br />i just dont get it why are those people who come to me tend to be attached. and some of them are begging for my attention instead of their partner. i try to sit in their seat, but i see things differently from them. i see myself kind of doing something to attract my partner's attention rather than others.and i see myself avoiding others just to get to my partner. hurmmmmm weird but that's how i see things. is it my lens or is there anyone else see things the way i do? i wish i'm not alone. i cant be alone. there must be someone else out there to see things the way i do. hopefully.<br /><br />well now i am still trying to get rid of this attached- unavailable- romantic- heart filling- making me thinking of that someone- person out of my mind. not totally because we promised to be friends. i just want the feelings to go away and be replaced by something more to friendship.<br /><br />i wish.........<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-51209984035760275872009-03-30T21:03:00.001-07:002009-04-01T20:06:48.356-07:00stolen.......<div style="text-align: right;">STOLEN<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Churaliya he (Stolen)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">You were my eyes when i couldn't see,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you were my air when i couldn't breathe,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">but you always knew what you meant to me,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(yeaah.ah,ah)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">You were my strength when i was down,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">and you made me humble when i wouldn't bow,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I held on to your promise that you'd be around,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(ah,ah...ah,ah)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Where were you when i was alright,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">tell me, did you knew I was alright,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you, left me thinking I'd be alright,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">wont you come back to me,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Ohhh..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy but i'm falling apart,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy how your leaving me scarred,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy girl wherever you are,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you stole, my heart</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy but I'm going insane,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">feeling lost confused and ashamed,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy, hope your feeling my pain,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you stole, my heart</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Just like a moment....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you never owned it,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you took away my heart,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I was feeling lost in my own world,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">neglecting your needs only once girl,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">If only we could try again once more,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">ohhh..(Ohh..)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Now It's the same sad story that we all know,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">how lovers make mistakes watch it all blow,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">now i don't wanna be the one to let it all go.... nooo</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Just like a moment....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you never owned it,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you took away my heart,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(ah,ah...ah,ah..)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">No man can live without blood running through his veins,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(through his veins)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">and it's hard to remember the summer now here is rain</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I don't know how much longer that i can wait</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's a thin line... between love and hate,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Oh-whoa-whoaaaa...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy but i'm falling apart,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy how your leaving me scarred,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy girl wherever you are,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you stole, my heart</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy but I'm going insane,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">feeling lost confused and ashamed,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">It's crazy, hope your feeling my pain,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you stole, my heart</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Just like a moment....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you never owned it,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you took away my heart,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(ah,ah...ah,ah..)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Just like a moment....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you never owned it,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">(Stolen)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">you took away my heart,</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: right; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"> (ah,ah...ah,ah..)<br /></div><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">so this time, what has been stolen? definitely not money, well if money is stolen, i wont b writing to u. car?hurmmm i dont have one, but i my car is stolen, i will go to the police station. it's my</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">HEART.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">how can it be stolen?have i been neglecting it? or may be because i take care of it too much that it rebels. there's no certainty but one thing for sure, my heart is stolen. i know and i'm fully aware that it is slipping away through my fingers but i do nothing to avoid. i let it go. fall into the wrong hand. not that the person is bad or ruthless, but that person is too sweet. so weet and making me feel so good. well i should not complain if it makes me feel good, should i? now here's the catch, this person is someone else's lover. now you guys know. it's never easy to fall for the wrong person. and to be honest, my heart is not stolen, but i hand it to that person. i think he accepts it but not in the way that i wish. hopefully one day soon he'll see more than i am now and by that time, my heart will be stolen in the way i wish it to be by the right person at the right time.......</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">I PRAY FOR THAT</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-23256224398883643612009-03-29T13:51:00.000-07:002009-03-29T20:23:14.649-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNFTP4JvoQ_cC1ZZmWgcpSYkoel9DEHZJpX912Xqs6cJWmsYdz0FxA7vNZI43DoZX3XUnCcrIwuIvgY9EwcY_hyphenhyphen0n5oT1DhIeL4bR9un9nrjeEH1Q7TNLJ1K-WH3Htt65_kVD3t5pV_MCs/s1600-h/5.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNFTP4JvoQ_cC1ZZmWgcpSYkoel9DEHZJpX912Xqs6cJWmsYdz0FxA7vNZI43DoZX3XUnCcrIwuIvgY9EwcY_hyphenhyphen0n5oT1DhIeL4bR9un9nrjeEH1Q7TNLJ1K-WH3Htt65_kVD3t5pV_MCs/s320/5.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318743334725842418" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">DENIAL</span></span></div><br />hurmmmm.....strong word......many people r having this without knowing that they r. i'm one of those who r lucky enough to know that i'm in this state of uncertainty. i always know what i want. i never really care bout what people say or the consequences of my irrational and greedy action to have something that i want. well i cant really call it greedy bcoz i grab the chance that pass by right in front of my eyes while i'm fully energised. so, it's a natural reaction of human being to be competitive and optimist. i am. i always am. it's a bit inhumane but natural. animal instinct that humans adopt and claim it to be theirs.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">so what is this denial in me all about? falling for someone. that not wrong. the fact that the person is emotionally attached to someone and that peerson loves the lover so deeply. let's call the person L. so, this L person has a lover which is away (of course somewhere on earth). so i met L n i'm fully aware of L's status. at first i wish it's a total physical affection and temporary pleasure that will go away juz like that by the wind. unluckily, i broke my own rule (well never been stated but i hav my rules). no hang out wif ur physical partner. sigh. people make mistake n it cant b undone. so as i try to move on, not trying to avoid the mistake, i kept on doing it for the past one week. juz in one week. i have developed a thin stupid layer of something close to love. not yet there but almost there. i'm not trying to get there but i wish to b there...somehow.................<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">so, this thing that keeps me awake is making me sick now. i told L. i let it out of my chest, wishing it will go away juz like water flowing down the drain. smoothly. but it's not simple. i have expectations. n that makes it even more complicated that i expected it to be. <span style="font-size:180%;">COMPLICATED</span>. yes, everyone hates complication but it happens. now it's my turn to swim in it. to get ashore. there's no guaranty i'll b safe but if i struggle a little harder, i might have increased the chance to b safe but on which is another complication for me to look into. arghhhhhhhh complicated, it is. so, L responded very well but not didnt meet my expectation. frustration n embarrassment. no!not embarrassment. i cant get embarrassed for telling how do i feel bout someone. i hav the right to express my preference n feelings towards someone that i feel deserve my attention. (or actually i'm trying to get attention from-denial). this will b over in no time hopefully.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" >Over and Over</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (Alicia Keys)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (Keyshia Cole)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > It’s the way it is</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Baby I remember</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > a time when we were so secure but</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Now it’s like December</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > when you say that I’m so insecure and</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I gotta get away</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > cause’ your making me weak</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > It’s keeping me trapped (keeping me trapped)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I gotta be a fool</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > sitting here tryna get that old thing back (thing back oh)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to keep your word</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > was one who always did what you said</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to speak to me so sweet</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > with something caring to say</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, you don’t even try no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, you don’t even care no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I don't wanna love you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > don’t wanna need you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > just wanna leave you (I swear)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > It’s like I hate to love ya</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > a charade we play time after time (time after time)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > It's like ya love to see me</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > confused and a mess I’m losing my mind (I’m losing my mind)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I gotta get away</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > cause’ your making me weak</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > It’s keeping me trapped (keeping me trapped)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I gotta be a fool</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > sitting here tryna get that old thing back (thing back oh)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to keep your word</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > was one who always did what you said</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to speak to me so sweet</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > with something caring to say</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, you don’t even try no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, why you don’t care no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I don't wanna love you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > don’t wanna need you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > just wanna leave you (I swear)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Hey</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (La,La,La,La)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (No I don’t wanna here it no more)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (All the lies, Oh)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa (You, You, You use to)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to keep your word (hey)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > was one who always did what you said (baby you cared)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > You use to speak to me so sweet (so sweet)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > with something caring to say (oh)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, you don’t even try no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Oh, why you don’t care no more</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I don't (I don't) wanna love you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > don’t wanna (no) need you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > just wanna (I wanna) leave you (I swear)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (Hey)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I don't (Oh) wanna love you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > don’t wanna need you</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > just wanna (don’t wanna) leave you (I swear)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (I just want it to be over)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > I just want it to be over (Can it be over?)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;" > Over and Over!</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">this song has not much to do with my situation but somewhere in the lyrics, i dedicate it to L. hope u'r not reading this.....<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span style=";font-family:webdings;font-size:180%;" ><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />THIS STATE OF DENIAL WILL END SOON<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">that's my promise.hopefully i wont break it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />mwahxxxx<br />adam<br /><br /></span></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></span></div></div></div></div></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-90181837404831609282009-03-29T13:20:00.000-07:002009-03-29T13:44:18.708-07:00........heartless.............<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKHl6jR0xR_CNRli4bLbHwcR6q2lAE03UYgs6hwPapx868XpalShM1N79ChHZdJ4guo83wWT-MHC20Uk_7fWmlAbR85XRtDNwje7ZXeo0we69NfOYFqvIo-bMFWulvwWNBz4WNk0jL3cYo/s1600-h/love_1_1024.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKHl6jR0xR_CNRli4bLbHwcR6q2lAE03UYgs6hwPapx868XpalShM1N79ChHZdJ4guo83wWT-MHC20Uk_7fWmlAbR85XRtDNwje7ZXeo0we69NfOYFqvIo-bMFWulvwWNBz4WNk0jL3cYo/s320/love_1_1024.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318712908312088402" border="0" /></a><br />In the night, I hear 'em talk,<br />the coldest story ever told<br />Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless..<br />How could you be so heartless?<br />Oh.. How could you be so heartless?<br /><br />How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo<br />Just remember that you talkin' to me though<br />You know need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo<br />I mean after all the things that we've been through<br />I mean after all the things we got into<br />Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me<br />Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me<br />And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me<br />So you walk around like you don't know me<br />You got a new friend, well I got homies<br />But in the end it's still so lonely<br /><br /><br />In the night, I hear 'em talk,<br />the coldest story ever told<br />Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless..<br />How could you be so heartless?<br />Oh.. How could you be so heartless?<br /><br />How could be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know..<br />I decided we weren't gon' speak so<br />Why we up 3 A.M. on the phone<br />Why does she be so mad at me fo'<br />Homie I dont know, she's hot and cold<br />I won't stop, I won't mess my groove up<br />'Cause I already know how this thing go<br />You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me<br />They say that they don't see what you see in me<br />You wait a couple months then you gon' see<br />You'll never find nobody better than me<br /><br /><br />In the night, I hear 'em talk,<br />the coldest story ever told<br />Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless..<br />How could you be so heartless?<br />Oh.. How could you be so heartless?<br /><br />Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk<br />Baby let's just knock it off<br />They don't know what we been through<br />They don't know 'bout me and you<br />So I got something new to see<br />And you just gon' keep hatin' me<br />And we just gon' be enemies<br />I know you can't believe<br />I could just leave it wrong<br />And you can't make it right<br />I'm gon' take off tonight<br />Into the night...<br /><br />In the night, I hear 'em talk,<br />the coldest story ever told<br />Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless..<br />How could you be so heartless?<br />Oh.. How could you be so heartless?<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">hurmmmmm where do i start this.....<br />so many words in the world to describe bout this stupid destructive feeling that keeps me falling apart everytime i think bout it. i wanna have something that i used to have. something everyone wanna have but almost half of them failed and crumble in a very deep idiot n irreparable condition. broken. soon i'll be joining those people. i can avoid it. i should avoid it. i would avoid it. in only i'm wise enough. but i'm too dumb, juz like the others. well everyone is a fool whne it comes to this unconditional thing. yeah unconditional that makes lots of people drowned for the temporary sweetness that only comes for a short moment to kill the people's heart. end up heartless.<br /><br />i dont wanna be heartless. i'm a heartful person. i'm overflow with affection. i need to share it. i hav to share it. i must share it. but i havent yet found the right person or may be the timing is wrong for the right ones. or there will never be right time for the right ones. or i'm not meant to have it. i think, i'll end up heartless..............<br /></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-73865743188107538992009-03-23T17:04:00.003-07:002009-03-24T22:35:23.651-07:00ugly,unpretty and unattractive........<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio5Ev-Bme3nplka4IgiawYMIR9D7zzoahI1hDTi16klUlLmJlCeTj2NKMtsbx5FEthMB6vzKybP00YMrsYQKtMENWF0TyzUWABHj4HuGeIpPS_2bas_Vh_ne-voYJdApBbPWJEBb3vwGaf/s1600-h/ugly-betty.jpg"><span style="color:#6633ff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316993583836763474" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 282px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 304px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio5Ev-Bme3nplka4IgiawYMIR9D7zzoahI1hDTi16klUlLmJlCeTj2NKMtsbx5FEthMB6vzKybP00YMrsYQKtMENWF0TyzUWABHj4HuGeIpPS_2bas_Vh_ne-voYJdApBbPWJEBb3vwGaf/s320/ugly-betty.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#6633ff;"><br /></span><div><span style="color:#6633ff;">She’s so big hearted<br />But not so remarkable<br />Just an ordinary humble girl<br />Expecting nothing as we’re made to think<br />It’s a pretty person’s world<br /><br /><br />But you are beautiful<br />And you better go show it<br />So go look again<br />You gotta be true to your own<br />If you really wanna go to the top<br />Do you really wanna win<br />Don’t believe in leaving normal<br />Just to satisfy demand<br /><br />Well if you wanna get free<br />And if you wanna do the passionate thing<br />And if you wanna get smart<br />For the sake of your heart and all<br />You should own your name<br />And stand up tall and get real<br />And see the beauty in ugly<br /><br /><br />Well you are fresh<br />Your face is fabulous<br />Don’t forget you’re one of a kind<br />When nobody’s checking the deeds you’ve done<br />And nobody’s hearing your cries<br />You make all the fashion statements<br />Just by dressing up your mind<br /><br /><br />And if you wanna get free<br />And if you wanna do the passionate thing<br />And if you wanna get smart<br />For the sake of your heart and all<br />You should own your name<br />And stand up tall and get real<br />And see the beauty in ugly<br />And see the beauty in ugly<br /><br /><br />Well if you wanna get free<br />And if you wanna do the passionate thing<br />And if you wanna get smart<br />For the sake of your heart and all<br />You should own your name<br />And stand up tall and get real<br />And see the beauty in ugly<br />And see the beauty in ugly<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><div align="right"></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">When I was 7 </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">They said I was strange </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I asked my parents if I was OK </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">They said you're more beautiful </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And that's the way they show they wish </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">They had your smile </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So my confidence was up for a while </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I got real comfortable with my own style </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I knew that they were only jealous cos </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">People are all the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And we only get judged by what we do </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My personality reflects me </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And if I'm ugly then </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">There was a time when I felt like I cared </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That I was shorter than everyone there </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">People made me feel like life was unfair </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And I did things that made me ashamed </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Cos I didn't know my body would change </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I grew taller than them in more ways </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But there will always be the one who will say </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Something bad to make them feel great </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">People are all the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And we only get judged by what we do </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My personality reflects me </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And if I'm ugly then </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">People are all the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And we only get judged by what we do </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My personality reflects me </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And if I'm ugly then </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Everybody talks bad about somebody </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And never realises how it affects somebody </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And you bet it won't be forgotten </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Envy is the only thing it could be </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Cos people are all the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">(The same, the same) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And we only get judged by what we do </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">(What we do, yeah, yeah) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My personality reflects me </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And if I'm ugly then (Yeah, you) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">People are all the same </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">(Oh, oh, oh) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And we only get judged by what we do </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">(What we do, yeah) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My personality reflects me </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And if I'm ugly then </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">(Yeah, so are you) </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you </span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So are you</span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I wish I could tie you up in my shoes</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Make you feel unpretty too </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I was told I was beautiful</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But what does that mean to you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Look into the mirror who's inside there</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">The one with the long hair </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Same old me again today (yeah)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My outsides look cool</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My insides are blue</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Every time I think I'm through</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">It's because of you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I've tried different ways </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But it's all the same</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">At the end of the day </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I have my self to blame</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I'm just trippin</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy your hair if it won't grow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can fix your nose if he says so</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy all the make-up </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That MAC can make </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But if you can't look inside you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Find out who am I to</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Be in a position to make me feel </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So damn unpretty</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I'll make you feel unpretty too</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Never insecure until I met you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Now I'm bein stupid </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I used to be so cute to me</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Just a little bit skinny</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Why do I look to all these things</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">To keep you happy</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Maybe get rid of you </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">And then I'll get back to me (hey)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My outsides look cool</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">My insides are blue</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Everytime I think I'm through</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">It's because of you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I've tried different ways</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But it's all the same</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">At the end of the day</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I have myself to blame</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Keep on trippin</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy your hair if it won't grow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can fix your nose if he says so</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy all the make-up </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That MAC can make </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But if you can look inside you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Find out who am I to</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Be in a position to make me feel </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So damn unpretty</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy your hair if it won't grow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can fix your nose if he says so</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy all the make-up</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That MAC can make </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But if you can look inside you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Find out who am I to</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Be in a position to make me feel </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So damn unpretty</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I'll make you feel unpretty to(I'll make u feel unpretty too)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Oh oh oh oh oh</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Oh oh oh oh oh</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy your hair if it won't grow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can fix your nose if he says so</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy all the make-up </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That MAC can make </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But if you can look inside you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Find out who am I to</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Be in a position to make me feel </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So damn unpretty</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy your hair if it won't grow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can fix your nose if he says so</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">You can buy all the make-up </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">That MAC can make </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">But if you can look inside you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Find out who am I to</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">Be in a position to make me feel </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">So damn unpretty</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#6633ff;">I'll make you feel unpretty too</span></div></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-49870736606510647052009-02-20T00:54:00.000-08:002009-02-20T01:12:32.530-08:00100 but not enuff.......001. Name → adam aldine<br />002. Nickname(s)→ adam<br />004. Zodiac sign → capricorn<br />005. Male or female → male<br />006. Elementary → tadika KEMAS<br />007. Middle School → SKPJ<br />008. High School → SMKAW, SMKTM, SESTER<br />009. College School → KMK,uitm<br />010. Hair color → black<br />011. Long or short → short<br />012. Loud or Quiet → depends<br />013. Sweats or Jeans → jeans<br />014. Phone or Camera → phone with camera<br />015. Health freak → all the time<br />016. Drink or Smoke? → none<br />017. Do you have a crush on someone? → yes<br />018. Eat or Drink → both<br />019. Piercings → none<br />020. Tattoos → none<br /><br /><br />FIRSTS:<br /><br />023. First piercing →never<br />024. First best friend → reen, syaza, ecah, ayu, nolly, Q<br />025. First award → can't recall<br />26. First crush → standard 6<br />027. First pet → miki<br />028. First big vacation → bangkok, chiang mai, pattaya in a month<br />030. First big birthday → never(who cares anyway)<br /><br /><br />CURRENTLY:<br /><br />049. Eating → butterscotch bread<br />050. Drinking → plain water<br />052. I'm about to → sleep<br />053. Listening to → supermassive black hole<br />054. Plans for today → go swimming then MP<br />055. Waiting for → the right one<br /><br />YOUR FUTURE:<br /><br />058. Want kids? → a lot<br />059. Want to get married? → yes, after 30<br />060. Careers in mind → supermodel<br /><br /><br />WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?<br /><br />068. Lips or eyes → eyes<br />070. Shorter or taller? → taller<br />072. Romantic or spontaneous → both<br />073. Nice stomach or nice arms → both<br />074. Sensitive or loud→ less for both<br />075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship<br />076. Trouble maker or hesitant → neither both<br /><br /><br />HAVE YOU EVER:<br /><br />080. Lost glasses/contacts → plenty<br />081. Ran away from home → no way<br />082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → yeah<br />083. Killed somebody → if it's innocent<br />084. Broken someone's heart → unluckily yes<br />085. Been arrested → never<br />087. Cried when someone died → yes<br /><br />DO YOU BELIEVE IN:<br /><br />089. Yourself → always<br />090. Miracles → sometimes<br />091. Love at first sight → yes<br />092. Heaven → yes.<br />093. Santa Claus → may b<br />094. Tooth Fairy→ never<br />095. Kiss on the first date→ yes<br /><br /><br />ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:<br /><br />097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes,<br />098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → nope, but i'm grateful to reach this stage<br />099. Do you believe in God → 100%<br />100. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people→ no<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i juz pick this up from my friend's page.....<br />so the numbering is wrong....<br />not because i dont know how to count, but i juz want it to be that way(actually too lazy to renumber).Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-84963252915080048782009-02-19T20:49:00.000-08:002009-02-20T00:53:38.681-08:00tree<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglcy-Rxqek4qGh3Y8qON2SyfhsnQKKs2VJPl_bP2RMUbEpXtbwDTFKAk8fbQPOQuVSHbUdwnEhMXg4advlig_7Pli2DiOIf7OJrFm9vzs4dGLZ4vW2-e7QGWmiUlXhCCjnqaNwgZydNL4F/s1600-h/tree5.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304741544689442050" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 260px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglcy-Rxqek4qGh3Y8qON2SyfhsnQKKs2VJPl_bP2RMUbEpXtbwDTFKAk8fbQPOQuVSHbUdwnEhMXg4advlig_7Pli2DiOIf7OJrFm9vzs4dGLZ4vW2-e7QGWmiUlXhCCjnqaNwgZydNL4F/s320/tree5.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#33ff33;">It is a windy afternoon,<br />The sun is over the moon,<br />Firmly standing, there you are,<br />Under the moon, under the star,<br />Your hands never stopped waving,<br />Your fingers never stopped growing,<br />Follow the rhythm of the wind blowing,<br />You never move, never walk, never step,<br />Toes in the ground, that’s how you’re attached,<br />Stormy day, don’t scare you,<br />Apart of the nature, that’s you,<br />Green is the sign that you’re strong,<br />Whatever comes in the way, you hold yourself down,<br />Thousands of wrinkles on your skin,<br />Dark, coarse and hideous yet graceful and lovely,<br />Under your shades, I sit,<br />The place where lovers come to meet,<br />Thousand years you live,<br />Millions of history you watched,<br />You keep the world spinning,<br />You keep the circle going,<br />In autumn you’re sick, in winter you’re dead,<br />In spring you’re back, in summer you’re blessed.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><br /><span style="color:#33ff33;">It’s not easy. Nothing is easy in this life and it will always be so until the end of the world. We are given five senses and some are gifted with six but still we are unable to do things perfectly well. What is wrong with us? Interesting question to be asked but how can we determine the cause is a mystery that we are all still try to find. Is it in you? Or me? Or person next to you who knows the answer? We never know.<br />This week we played a little game in the class. We had to pair up and one of us will have to cover our eyes. The tables were arranged haphazardly and our partner will be waiting for us across the class. We need to listen to the instruction from our partner to get across the class through the haphazardly arranged tables. It was fun and interesting but at the same time we learn bout using our other senses if we lose any one of the five senses that we have. So, the class was about our senses and I love it because I’m a very sensitive person (at least that’s what I feel).<br />Well just like other classes before, we had something to do again in this class. We were asked to write a poem describing something that we chose but we cannot mention the name of the thing in our poem. At first, we found it quite hard to write it but as we slowly move on, we managed to write the draft. I chose to write on tree. I managed to finish writing the draft early so I quickly went to show it to Ms. Yates. I think my poem is quite simple and easy to understand (which is so me). Thank God, Ms. Yates had not said that much about my poem except there are a few parts which I have to improve and add some more here and there to make the poem long. She also asked me to add more the characteristic of tree in my poem so that the poem will be more understandable and interesting. I used a lot of personification in the poem because I think, that’s the best way to make my poem is readable and easy to understand. Que struggled a lot to finish the poem and this was my first time to see him working that hard to do assignment and too bad he was criticized badly by Ms. Yates (constructive of course).<br />I felt happy today because I did well for the poem. Oh! Before I forget, I chose to write about tree because for me, trees are useful and they contribute to people’s life a lot. I wanted to be like the trees. They are always there to help people and they are willing to sacrifice themselves for others benefit. May be I was born as a tree in my previous life. Who knows! =)</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;">i'm a tree.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;">mwahxxxx</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33ff33;">~~adam~~</span></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-59530129217778831062009-02-19T20:35:00.000-08:002009-02-19T22:41:27.846-08:00r we safe?<div align="center">It's not so easy lovin' me</div><div align="center"> It gets so complicated </div><div align="center">All the things you gotta be</div><div align="center"> Everything's changing </div><div align="center">But you're the truth </div><div align="center">I'm amazed by all your patience </div><div align="center">Everything I put you through </div><div align="center">And when I'm about to fall </div><div align="center">Somehow you're always waiting </div><div align="center">Your open arms to catch me </div><div align="center">You're gonna save me from myself </div><div align="center">From myself, yes </div><div align="center">You're gonna save me from myself </div><div align="center">My love is tainted by your touch </div><div align="center">Well some guys have shown me aces </div><div align="center">But you got that royal flush </div><div align="center">I know it's crazy every day </div><div align="center">Well tomorrow may be shaky </div><div align="center">But you never turn away </div><div align="center">Don't ask me why I'm crying </div><div align="center">'Cause when I start to crumble </div><div align="center">You know how to keep me smiling </div><div align="center">You always save me from myself </div><div align="center">From myself, myself </div><div align="center">You're gonna save me from myself </div><div align="center">I know it's hard, it's hard </div><div align="center">But you've broken all my walls </div><div align="center">You've been my strength, so strong </div><div align="center">And don't ask me why I love you </div><div align="center">It's obvious your tenderness </div><div align="center">Is what I need to make me </div><div align="center">A better woman To myself </div><div align="center">To myself, myself </div><div align="center">You're gonna save me from my</div><div align="center">Myself<br /><br /><br />*Christina Aguilera*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This is a very powerful song to me. I listen to this song over and over again and I never get bored listening to this song. The wordings are just perfect. It is a song that a woman sing to her husband that has made her life better than it was before. She feels safe with the man and she appreciates what he has done for her to make her who she is now.<br />I know this song is sung by a woman but as a human being, I believe that I have the right to sing it to my loved one who has been there all the time for me to cherish the joy and to share the sadness. It never was and never will be easy to live alone in this world and to have someone who loves us just the way we are, priceless.<br />To my love, even you do not know how much I love you, but trust me, I will always love you just as much as you love me. ♥</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">hurmmm........sentimental n romantic....they r juz in me....my close friends(u r one of them reen) said that i can make people melt for me easily....i dont hav to say a word, juz some move that i make is enuf to make people give their heart away to me. i dont know how far is the truth but i never tried...well u know how karma works........i dont want to hurt people bcoz i dont wanna b hurt(even i get hurt many times b4).i dont mind....better 4 me to remain patient n there will always good thing come in my way. yeah good things like good exam result, or good friends, or good allowance from my parents(i'm talking bout u both mom n dad) n good siblings (yeahh all my SISTERS) n good lecturers (even i'm not teacher's pet) n good health n good body figure(i know i need to lose some more weight n work out) n there r so much more good things to come my way.....(hopefully).....</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">but u know life isnt all about good n beautiful, bear in mind that there will always bad n 'ugly' things to happen in life(GOD take them away from me). </div><div align="center">no matter how hard we try to avoid them there r juz there rite in front of us, waiting for us to pick them up. arghhhh i wish i can b safe all the time but even if i have 100 bodyguards on my side (hopefully all of them r hot n hot n hot) still there's no guaranty that i'll b safe from all the bad n 'ugly' stuff.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">anyway, life goes on n this is me. hurt n survived n hopefully i will always b so.....</div><div align="center">daaaaaaaaa</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">mwahxxx</div><div align="center">~~adam~~</div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-17441883849659563632009-02-19T20:07:00.000-08:002009-02-19T20:35:03.956-08:00i always KNOW!!!!!!!<div align="right">I am a boy who knows what he wants in life and at least I won’t regret the decision that I have made.<br />It was my 22nd birthday last 19th January. One year older I am and I am grateful to the Merciful for giving me another year to live in even I have to go through lots of turbulence. That how life is and should be and will always be and all we can do is to live it to the fullest, our way. It’s been a year of challenge and strives for me last year. I broke up, I dated few people, gain and lose weight, get injured and get healed, and a lot more that I think need not to be listed here. If I were to list those things that have happened to me in years back, I’m going to need to write a novel bout it. “Years of Triumphs and Turbulences”. That does not sound that bad at all. May be one day soon, after I managed to get all my dreams come true, I should write a book on that title. And I’m sure I will have to remember all the things that I have learnt in this class.<br />No birthday celebration for me and I’m quite puzzled why did not I want to celebrate it. I am not a Mormon, that’s for sure. May be because I have never ever celebrated my birthday and that makes me less interested to celebrate it (last year did not count because my aunt hold a surprise party for me). The worst part is, I don’t know how to celebrate it. My friends asked me to throw a party but I don’t know how to do it. Well I watched ‘My Super Sweet 16” on MTV but that’ll be too much for me to do. Hurmmm it’s ok. I’m going to try to have it next year but at the age of 23, will that be fine? We’ll see how it is going to be. I’m thinking of beach party on my birthday. Yes, beach sounds fun and I love fun stuff and one person that can’t be excluded is Querina (you know who that person is Ms. Yate). He’ll be the party kicker and I’m going to make sure that he’ll be there on that party because I am having a surprise for him. Oh, I love surprises and hopefully he’s going to love it more than I do. =P</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">well anyway, bday is the last thing that in my list that i wanna celebrate. well it's not i dont appreciate my birth to the world but i juz hav no i dea what to do on my bday. supposedly i had my 21st bday celevration grand and happening but since i broke up wif A, so i didnt celebrate it. how to celebrate bday?may b there is someone who writes a book on that subject. u know 4 a dummy like me, of course there are few more like me( i really wish there are except mormon)hahaahhha.....hurmm i guess i'm juz gonna buy a slice of cake for myself n eat it in my room and sing a bday song for myself......classic me.....alone, homey n eccentric....hey at least i live my life the way i want it.....lame!!!!!!</div><div align="right">it's ok.....(to whom did i say that?)hahahahhaaa</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">my life is mine and no one can ever ruin it.</div><div align="right">...............i live the i want so u guys out there(even u'r not reading this blog) don mess with me!!!!!(with a smile)</div><div align="right"></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-49281596707242397372008-10-12T20:17:00.000-07:002009-02-19T20:33:45.216-08:00whAt A wEEk```````<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCI0zehGscut1fBu19gHypRtPRAoNdg_mwU0wz1k2Oy73pYy7qu2R1CwsLrUrNGLm6w4l0ohLQJ4yUhaOa7XsFttf2CUzDcyh4vXWEAMyj1aR7VNbqpiZXDB0pN7VEHVIDMBUA_kOAPDH/s1600-h/25092008918-edited.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256473991103599490" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCI0zehGscut1fBu19gHypRtPRAoNdg_mwU0wz1k2Oy73pYy7qu2R1CwsLrUrNGLm6w4l0ohLQJ4yUhaOa7XsFttf2CUzDcyh4vXWEAMyj1aR7VNbqpiZXDB0pN7VEHVIDMBUA_kOAPDH/s320/25092008918-edited.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">hey,hey, hey.......</span></div><span style="color:#cc0000;"><br /></span><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><span style="color:#cc0000;"><br /></span><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">long time huh....well been bz with life and all.....too bad...i've left u here unattended...i'll make it up to u ok......all about my eccentric life.....</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">hari raya!!well it was good i enjoyed it even not to the fullest....i've grown up too much so no more duit raya..that's bad...well it's ok at least i get to gather with all my family members at this very happy moment of our life....mom i love u n i'm sorry for all my wrongdoings all this while....dad i love u too n thanx 4 being understanding bout me n plz this year u need to increase my pocket money...huhuhu to all my sisters i love u guys so much and thanx for always being there for me......to all my friends, i love u guys all so much and this boy will always b eccentric as he was and always is.....to all my readers(if any) thanx 4 supporting me in writing this story about this eccentric boy.....mwahx to all.....</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">ok.....now this is where the story to start. after a whole week of raya, i'm back to kl.feel so good to be around and cant wait to start my routines all over again(u know what i mean)huhuhu.life is short,njoy it to the fullest ok.being single is one advantage that u have to njoy ur life to the limit n u know the sky is the limit when u'r on ur own. coming back from raya, i went to visit my ex and his mom.we're friends now that's 4 sure.professional. no more hidden feelings.even i still love A but still there's nothing gonna bring me back to A. btw may b i forgot to mention that i'm dating J now.well J is nice but a little small for me.J is very kind hearted n caring.i like that.but we need time to get to know to each other. well time is all i need. btw even i'm dating J, my life has to go on n i will make others' life become even merrier that ever before.....</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">well u know it's my dream to go to phuket since forever but budget problem holds me back. just my luck on this very lucky week, i was offered to go for a paid vacation in phuket with my ex nad his mom.again just my luck.at first i had to refuse because i ave presentation on the day that they'r going to leave for phuket.sigh.......i was quite devastated but that's how it is.but the luck is still on my side, on the nite that A should be off to phuket, he texted me telling me that his passport has expired and he has to postpone to the next day which i will b able to go.i was so damn shocked that he offered me to go n what more i can say. YES!!!!!!!!that's my answer. no pocket money for me but i just go.i'm not gonna do any shopping there.i said to myself. and the next day, i was off to phuket.lucky me...................</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">came back from phuket. i had alot to do as i missed 3 day classes already but i managed to put everything under control. i'm a controller but not a control freak ok.friday nite should b happening but too tired for me to go out n have fun(as i had so much fun in phuket already). so i juz stayed at home and do nothing and sleep all nite. the next day, came to my shock that our house was broken in last nite and my fren lost laptop and handphone.too bad for them. thank god that i didnt lose a thing. ........</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">so saturday, i had nothing to do n i did nothing but online all day long. later that evening i got a call from a friend of mine. guess what?he invited me to go to club wif him n his bf.warghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!it's been al ong time i havent gone to club. he said we're going to MP. i heard bout it n peope said it was damn happening and the crowd r so damn cool. so i just cant say no to it n yup i went clubbing on saturday nite......</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">what a nite!!!!!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">as i reached MP, all i can see was beautiful view of good looking people all around walking heading to the club. i didnt know what to expect but i just prepare myself for the worse and wish for the best to happen.i was at first quite shy and kinda afraid to go into the dance floor(like there'll b a murder on the dance floor) so my friend pushed me through the crowd and i didnt know whether it was jus my feeling or it was real that i got hundreds of eyes on me....i was terrified but i just make that str8 face and move my body my way. i was thinking of doing my ritual(taking off my shirt my i was dancing) but it seems to me i'm the new boy on the floor so i just remain decent and dance just like usual.but come to my shock that my friend pushed me up the podium.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">####PODIUM BOY####</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">OMG!!!!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">i can see all the people in the club and they were looking at me like i'm an alien.bad!!!i felt so weird but i'm up now so i just dance n dance n dance....then it came the moment i felt so hot and i'm so damn sweating n the only thing that i wanted to do was to take of my shirt n with no hesitation i took off my shirt and move my body.......CRAZILY!!!the crowd cheered for me n i went even crazier....just soon when i got off the podium, people weretrying to approach me.asking for my number,ask my name,where do i stay, with whom did i come and so much more questions that they asked me.i just answer them very nicely.i felt good.and soon at 3a.m i called it a nite....we went home n my heart was still singing dancing inside me.......</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">WHAT A NITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">beautiful SUNDAY^^^^</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#cc0000;">mwahx</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#cc0000;">~~adam~~</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-20937145791922711152008-08-30T08:28:00.000-07:002008-08-30T09:38:57.033-07:00long time......<div align="right"><span style="color:#ff0000;">TIME</span></div><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">hey y'all....hurmmm it's been a very long time since i last wrote here...well been so bz with life....not much i can do to make myself more </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">available to write here but now i by all means making a huge effort to write.....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">well where else i can write if not here.....of course other than </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">writing my long and boring assignment, here is the next destination for me to express what i think i wanna say.....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"> previously i was so damn bz doing a wedding...it was a great experience...i love it n i wanna do it </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">again next time...hunting for new project now....other than my study, </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">n my banquet job n my family, this new thing has given me </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">a new passion towards what to enjoy in life......yeah obviously i'm single n totally available so not so much </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">obligaiotns for me like i was b4....obligations to lover....yeah cliche but thing is such....so the wedding...it </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">was good n fun doing it except the part where i dont get enuf sleep n hav to work so damn hard that made me look like a mummy(well dont try to imagine it) but those bittersweet of it....but after all is done,dissapointment came in the way as the groom cut the payment here n there n made my life become even more miserable n totally damaged.......</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">again that's what we hav to face.....dissatisfaction........well deal it professionally n pretend like u dont care......lie to urself but sometimes things has to b forgotten n let it go....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">so in order to </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">indulge ourselves, me n my friends plan a trip to penang n terengganu(not really a plan) n we had quite a lot of fun....when i say fun means very very fun.....huh cant wait to have that time off again....hopefully......i hav the chance.....now bout my love life.....well it was not easy,it is not easy n i think it never will.....i hav to admit dating people are kinda hard to do n frustration is a must to happen when it comes to going out with people that we barely know or we juz think that we know that person........lying to ourselves.....i dated this one person...it started like usual from a dating site,we exchanged phone number,texting each other for some time then going out for date hurmmmmm boring!!!!!but that's how it goes.....the difference that i do this time around in this game i call love, that person (ok i name the person F) is not as good as others that i dated b4....good here</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">is in the aspect of look or to b precise body figure...i dont know, i juz fall for F juz like that...may b the words,attitude,sincerity, or i dont know....but i somehow fall for F even most of the characteristic that i listed for my potentiAl lover is less than 5 in F......weird right this love trhing but is happened.....i had quite an expectation to bring our relationship to the next level bcoz i was so comfortable with F....i was myself....i had fun.....i'm in control.....n i love the feeling......F is definitely a lover material person.....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">but again failure came to say hi to me.....juz soon as i established the relationship, things seems to crumble.....we had argument which started small but bcoz of some words, F pissed me off n i juz walked away....so classic me to walk away juz like that but i cant pretend that i'm not hurt.....i'm totally offended n i do what i think the best for me....walk away......chicken but wise</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">that's </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">what i call it.....my action....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">may b i was </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">overreacted or too much but juz consider that we weren't meant to b together.....at this very moment, the memory of my ex come to take place n take me to the sky.....fly n yeah not really in reality but i somehow njoy it.....the idea of going back to my ex comes cross into my mind but after a very deep thinking n considering that we've been ex for almost 8 months since then, i sont think it's a good idea....single again....this is definitely will b the longest time for me to b single n available n hot.......yeah hot n single, that's what i am now....a bit arrogant but juz to comfort myself n gain my confidence to love again....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">wish i were able to b so bold and daring to go out n date more but at the moment,better to keep them all close as friends n may b i can later decide which one is the best for me, myself n i n that lucky person....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">next time i'm gonna make sure that it wont b all about or that person....it will</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"> always b about US>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#ff0000;">TIME</span></div><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="color:#ffffff;">~~helleccentric~~</span></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-26104340952630666262008-07-13T20:38:00.000-07:002008-07-14T06:13:31.584-07:00what am i????<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd02tInNOjjLufanP2s6kxfl3xeckY6C6tzYwKuVHBN1RmYnx1GXk4WZnwnXE44piLFNtxtWBbPyivDrmXBx3-Y8OtjeHfDw5MzkdUm3zZTpwMRSi8ESeOgMQFNDMKASPofWO5g8k1lV6h/s1600-h/ScannedImage-4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222710975472157218" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd02tInNOjjLufanP2s6kxfl3xeckY6C6tzYwKuVHBN1RmYnx1GXk4WZnwnXE44piLFNtxtWBbPyivDrmXBx3-Y8OtjeHfDw5MzkdUm3zZTpwMRSi8ESeOgMQFNDMKASPofWO5g8k1lV6h/s320/ScannedImage-4.jpg" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-family:lucida grande;color:#ff0000;">i wonder......what am i????</span><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#999999;"></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#999999;">hey, i 'm so much alive. i'm so damn loving this skin. i cant wish for more than this. i'm blessed, thank God. Alhamdulillah. </span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#999999;">as i'm living this life for more than two decades since then, i think i met quite a big number people n i believe, people r born to b different from each other. like me, i'm eccentric, plain, average n wuteva.....well there r so many type of people out there that has so mch thing to learn bout them. like native people, urban, rural, teenagers, elderly, kids n a lot more to b listed n it takes foever for us to understand every single person on this earth. like me myself, a teenage.student.working student.degree student.a son.only son in the family.rural family.too much to classify bout me...i can b in many groups that belongs to the society. so actually what am i?huhuhu i myself r now wondering what am i. i lived on this earth more than 21 years but still cant figure it out what am i.people out there, do u know what u r?hav u ever wondered why r u all here?what should we b doing?when should we act?when will we b terminated?what should we achieve in our life?i dont know whether these question has ever crossed ur mind but for me, these questions kinda bothering me, well may b not bother but they almost everyday come across my mind n it makes me think bout what is my life worth for. what should i contribute?to whom should i contribute?when should i contribute n most of all when will i b stopped from contributing. life's short but there r too many things to do.sleeping alone need at least 6hours a day.left 18 hours.having meal at least 3 hours in total. working from 8 to 5p.m already 9 hours.left 6 hours. spending time wif family, resting, watching news, entertainment.n that's it.is that life is all about?hurmmm looks like we hav to optimized our time.every single second is too precious to b wasted. not much we can do bout it. so far no device to stop the time but in the future no idea.,ay b there'll b time machine or anti ageing pills that can stop ageing n make people live longer.but there'll b a lot of things will b unbalance.if there r too many people on earth, the space will b very limited.huhhhhhh(sigh)....life is complicated.but we cant sit back n juz follow what life has brought us to.we must at least try to chase the time(dont stop the time coz u can never do so) n accomplish as much thing as u can in ur life si that ur life will b more precious n every day in ur life, u'll hav something to remember. it might b small but still u hav something in a day that makes u think bout it n say to urself, "i made it"........so guys let's start thinking bout what r we, bcoz only that question can make u think of what r u going to do....</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#999999;"></span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#999999;"></span></p><br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;">start thinking now!!!!!!</span></p><br /><p align="center"><span style="color:#c0c0c0;"></span></p><br /><p align="left"><span style="color:#c0c0c0;">mwahxxx</span></p><br /><p><br /></p>~~adam~~Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-20948247387319981662008-07-11T20:54:00.000-07:002008-07-11T21:56:41.209-07:00the next day~~~~<div align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM54-ynjJ_m8_CpqieAZK2e77t5udH9d1-tYWkw5nFge4pYKj51pmlE7mTrTu6AfwR023tOqrdM3a5sMl-Y0ELdQAp-egdvIEmYq43BCIJx3788i6D9UeVq93nRQixzP0ghYzGlxHM4RMr/s1600-h/Aqu1106.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221973448100421970" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM54-ynjJ_m8_CpqieAZK2e77t5udH9d1-tYWkw5nFge4pYKj51pmlE7mTrTu6AfwR023tOqrdM3a5sMl-Y0ELdQAp-egdvIEmYq43BCIJx3788i6D9UeVq93nRQixzP0ghYzGlxHM4RMr/s320/Aqu1106.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoH8aa9uR8mGvBa81WYiow1xJO84fRY_wADxGKDg4kaNDfXd_YcTCBU_ydBKDQq_Qypd1Nb7HFzRQ-etggQ4nrFadqkvIn_MfTYNA2cCmlBTXn7zFdcf8iUYSHMWo0qSUhqOFLsNREazn/s1600-h/Aqu1037.jpg"></a><div align="right"><span style="font-family:arial;color:#33cc00;">another day......</span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#33cc00;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;">how's today?well let's start with going to club.well last nite i went to club,yeah it's been a while since i last went there....it's quite good to b there....long time i didnt get such attention or i should say eyes on me....huhuhu...i cant help myself from smiling to those people.they hav this look on their face that makes me feel so amused n it tickles my heart somehow....to put in a word---- 'starved'----i hope u guys understand this...well it't not wrong for me to make them feel good bout themselves,a smile that's all i gave n a little flirtatious look on them.i'm juz being a little notty. i like being notty n that's me. ok done wif that notty part....dance floor is getting more crowded n me n my frenz squeeze through the crowd n we're in.the song was so damn good.it triggered me to go crazy n i almost forgot that my foot is hurt.huhuhu it went crazy n i even got up on the podium. i was overwhelmed n my frenz has gotten out of their mind. no more mr guy next door n no more mr.sweet baby...hihiihi...its funny to see n to experience how can music make people lose control n got out of their mind.well somehow it was enjoyable. i went jogging earlier that evening but i was still able to stand up almost 1 n a half hour dancing non stop like it was my own show in my own world tha i will always call 11th kingdom.fantasy.......</span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;">finished clubbing, we went to hav some drinks but unluckily i cant stay for long coz got something to do n i hav to drag not,literally, my fren out of the restaurant n we headed home.arrived at home at 4 n sleep at 5....not much sleep but still hav to wake up at 8 n do this n that n time is 9.30...time to leave for the briefing.hell day i was not required to go for the briefing as i havent registered yetvfor the extra curricular activities.what a waste.my sleeping time n my all time spent there to wait for my frenz.well kinda stupid but it's ok...at least i was there to see som hot stuff parading around the campus n feeling good bout themselves.wuteva!!!!but somehow they deserve to b praised coz they'r so confident with their assets.yeah assets.....guys, live ur life to the fullest.....</span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;">single.......boring, alone and ------------- i dont know what more to say bout my single life.sometimes i feel like i enjoy my single life very much but somewhere in my heart i feel like something's missing.yeah something that i call love.care.touch.pamper.something that makes me feel more secured n safe.something that can slow me down in my crazy life.something that makes life worth living everyday.something that i wanna do everyday in my life. something that keeps my feeling occupied.something..................................................................or i should say everything is all bout love.it's not that i dont hav anyone coming to me,in fact i hav people in line coming n begging for me(not to b arrogant or snobbish but fact), but i juz cant accept them.there will always b something that turns me off n makes me tired of searching n yeah, i stop searching now, let fate work for me, if happen for me to love again, i will but when is it?i cant tell.let juz wait n hope n see.......oh life, i look ok,i look perfectly normal n happy but inside, i'm empty.i need someone to fill me. fill me heart.to cheer me up everyday. to smile to me evry morning i wake up from sleep. to say goodnite when i wanna go to sleep. to lend me ears when i need to talk to someone n to lend me words me words when i need some one to advice me.someone who can give me a heart for me to take care of n someone that i can always miss when we're apart. yeah too good to be true but i know somewhere in this world, that person exists but when will that person come?i never know.all i can do is wait....... </span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"><span style="color:#009900;"></span></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#333333;"><span style="color:#009900;">another day........</span></span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#009900;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#009900;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000000;">mwahx</span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:Arial;">~~adam~~</span></div>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2372116999078151823.post-77714600185246889502008-07-10T02:23:00.000-07:002008-07-10T02:38:38.815-07:00number 1<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWq3c-4eu3g39FkOU7gDK5UQ_xe2ySeNhCIBJ4ckVPhmG0_qdhCCa8yLoiuTxRMuYecTz8i5CvO_3yg-f1DlL7_MPfbgZll2dapG2HMkSYofGLu5itV9xvutVL57J07cn1gwTSAS1BVe_/s1600-h/Aqu1016.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221314956140435842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWq3c-4eu3g39FkOU7gDK5UQ_xe2ySeNhCIBJ4ckVPhmG0_qdhCCa8yLoiuTxRMuYecTz8i5CvO_3yg-f1DlL7_MPfbgZll2dapG2HMkSYofGLu5itV9xvutVL57J07cn1gwTSAS1BVe_/s320/Aqu1016.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#3333ff;">hurmm...first post!!</span></div><br /><p align="center">not much to say.....may b juz bout me...single, average, simple, hard-hearted, kind hearted, sensitive, strong, fit, cute, n i dont know much more people will say bout me but i'm independent...live on my own n enjoy every single thing that pass me by in my life....i experience ups n downs n i enjoy those times bcoz without all those things i wont b here today writing this blog....why do i do blog?i dont know....may b juz bcoz i like writing n express my own opinion based on my own view n i like it when people confront n argue with me.... win or lose i dont mind as long as i get to argue about something that i think should b argued about i.e whether or not u kill ur enemy.....(juz an example,nothing serious ok)sounds like i'm an argumentative person well can say so as i am so...this is me....i live my life the way i want it.....njoy my life to the limit.....still there are limitation that i hav to follow, i hav my family, my friends, my lecturers, my principles n i'm subjected to country's law....that's life.....so anything more i'll write again....till then.....</p><p align="center"></p><p align="center">mwahxxx,</p><p align="center"><span style="font-size:78%;">~~helleccentric~~</span></p><p></p>Ad4m4mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18431133365406887206noreply@blogger.com0